Ghost Mechanic

for an instant - the flashing brilliance

the diamond heart

in each perfect arc is this description

in the finer points (down with the quarks) an intimation

always nothing much and always *just* so;

every moment falls by the wayside

The effort required to check my own destructive impulses is steadily burning me away.  Where are the character and resolve I was promised, if I could just hold on?  Where is peace?

Anonymous asked: What do you hold dear to your heart?

An ever-shifting tapestry of motivations and desires; all passing fair and foolish.  If I thought supplication might here effect, I would pray to be free one day from the tyranny of my heart.

Pushed back so far by the encroachment of other minds that I begin to think they look like prey.  Never hear my wings.  Never see my too-bright eyes.  Push me any harder and I will show you the cruel, hard light that burns in me.  Reason, hammered cold and thin; the filament of my incandescence.  Fear and anger, like jet fuel in my veins.

It’s extraordinarily rare that a person is so rude to me that I feel the need to use Facebook’s “block” feature.  In fact, it’s only ever happened once.  Unfortunately, it happened tonight.  Right up to that point, I was having a wonderful time.  Then, it all turned to shit.  You’ll never read this, and I wouldn’t ever name you and skew my own karma, but you can go fuck yourself.

Anonymous asked: As Bender told the Ambassador, "I'm not that kind of robot."
So:
What would you say is your single most important trait, your gift to humanity, if you will?

I’ve tried answering this several times, and each time I’ve wanted to answer in terms of my ideal gift to humanity.  That seems to defeat the spirit of the question, so instead I’ll limit myself to answering in the context of my current/actual traits, rather than those to which I aspire.

So; now, at this moment, my most important trait is my ability to see value in others.  I’m frequently an outsider, so I have time to reflect.  Occasionally I see a spark, and with the person in whom that spark resides, I try to establish friendship and goodwill.

Anonymous asked: What would you say is your single most important trait, your gift to humanity, if you will?

Prove to me that you’re not a clever bit of automation and I’ll respond to your query.  Impromptu Turing test, commencing, now …

Simple and more direct than this.  In, out - tidal rhythms that occlude the chattering self.  Beached on the shoals of the Wheel, sputtering and going out, each an island because it does not see below the waves where all our foundations join.  Aurora flashes of one mind, forgetting itself in multiplicity.

Wolves and lambs at each turn, and taking turns; happily bruised by walls that never were, never will be.  Biting and bleeding and screaming and dying, but after all, nothing much.  Just this.  Aurora flashes of one moment, the strobing current of time, quantized.  There is a shortest duration - now.